White Noise MP3s.com

A sad and terrible realization:

My entire life, such as it is, can indeed fit inside a Dassault Falcon 900.

Duration: 64 minutes 27 seconds.
Size: 88.5 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Ah, mankind’s greatest invention.

You love this sound. Love it like you love bacon, a deep, personal love that makes your bones feel good inside.

The soothing hum of the air conditioner – a sound I’m sure you’re familiar with – reminds you of those gentle summer nights when you drifted off to sleep to this subtle drone of pure awesome.

Duration: 65 minutes 15 seconds.
Size: 89.6 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

I know what you are thinking.

I bet you are thinking, “Where are people’s air conditioners? Why is there not a site that lets me keep track of their air conditioners online so that I always know where the nearest one is????”

And the answer is because I don’t have any venture capital.

Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds.
Size: 88.9 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

I have never been more enamored by a country quite like Sri Lanka. As ubiquitous as poverty is, right alongside the high infant mortality rates, these people are albeit proud, educated, genuinely hospitable, and spiritual.

For example, my guide Carlu had an advanced collegiate degree, could speak several languages fluently, knew almost every single plant and animal by both their Latin and common names including hilarious scientific anecdotes, but most importantly he was remarkably at ease and eager to discuss the meaning of life for hours on end during the lazy evening hours.

Even though he was in his sixties, he was tireless. One morning he forgot to arrange for my brunch to be packed up for the field, so without comment we promptly stopped at a small communal village so that he could buy me a meal (equivalent to several days’ worth of wages). I irrevocably pried the truth out of him and he confessed that he’d rather labor for days than to have me skip a brunch because he was forgetful. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and squeezed his testicles.

Carlu is just one of the many reasons that Arthur C. Clarke (author of 2001: A Space Odyssey, R.I.P March 19, 2008) lived here, which introduces how I had come to visit Sri Lanka in the first place.

A good childhood friend of mine had just returned from Sri Lanka on a business trip, and she suggested that I travel to the island country to record some of the environment because the denizens are so spiritually uplifting. Though despite the dense population, she assured me that it was also a quiet place, relatively free of noise pollution in the rural areas. The biosphere reserves are very well respected and preserved which to my favor complemented generously my existing library of environmental ambience and wildlife recordings.

She also suggested that I write to Sir Clarke, “You needn’t an address for a badass motherfucker like Arthur C. Clarke, just use Colombo, Sri Lanka, and it’ll get to him.” Oy, could there really be such a place left in this world? I wrote the correspondence letter that same day. Three weeks later, I received a hand written letter in my mailbox from Mr. Clarke graciously referring me to several scholars and experts on nature and Carlu was one of them.

Carlu took me to the Kanneliya Forest, Hurulu Reserve, Horton Plains, and Kalutara Beach, and all four places produced environmental ambience recordings of sexcellent quality.

Sleepy Beach Waves takes place on the secluded Kalutara Beach, which is a long, narrow strip of land of situated 38 kilometers south of Mr. Clarke’s house and rests between the waters of the Laccadive Sea and a wider inlet of water to the east.

The weather and tide conditions were nothing short of perfect that evening — a crème de la crème of widely spaced waves sweeping singularly and sensuously across the smooth, moist, shimmering sand. The lush ebb and flow of waves — both distant and near — gently caress the shore as they break and recede, leaving a light hissing symphonic trail of sound as the surf ever so softly sizzles itself in.

There was no wind at all, which was pretty rare for an open beach — so I removed the microphone windscreens to allow every creamy little detail to be recorded. At the conclusion of this hour long field recording session I snapped up this photo.

Relaxing beach ambience at its best - without the seagulls, without the swimmers, without the sailors. No birds, no animals, no people, no music. No looping or layering effects were used. This is one full hour of pure, unadulterated, wholesome beach waves — both distant and near — lapping against the sun-kissed sandy shores of the Kalutara on a sleepy September sunset twilight.

This soundscape captures the most primal essence of stranded seaside serenity and solitude in 360-degree binaural surround sound. Ah… so peaceful here. Yet there’s fighting going on somewhere at this very minute. Put on a pair of stereo headphones and dare to cast yourself away.

Duration: 65 minutes 37 seconds.
Size: 90.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Far beyond the hectic concrete jungle of modern life there exists a parallel reality, an undiscovered world where you can still see and hear things in their purest and most innocent forms.

This field recording situated at the end of a cavern is as primal as it gets. Listen and swathe yourself in melancholy as you experience a private world perhaps as old as human consciousness itself where the most primeval origin and essence of human personal security remains preserved.

Chill out and relax to the low, slow, halcyon breaths of the Atlantic as they resonate, naturally lulled and muffled, into the hollow undulating tunnel walls of nature’s own reverberator — the deep claustral interior of a secluded beachfront cavern I found off the coast of Lydstep Beach.

The cavern is shaped like the human ear canal which collects sounds naturally — the sound of the tide sweeping against the granite walls of the cavern all amalgamate and bounce towards the center where my mikes are carefully positioned.

A deep, smooth, dark ambient texture of prenatal, primordial memories… where the only porn that existed in our time was no more grandiose than horribly malproportioned phalluses on the walls of such most humble abodes.

Duration: 65 minutes 05 seconds.
Size: 89.3 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

I had the pleasure of commissioning this sexy exciting soundscape for a huge client over the summer of 2005, though I won’t say who.

The goal was to sculpt a complex background ambience reminiscent of a sci-fi-ish stasis or cryogenic chamber where the inert minds of its subjects naturally retreat into a private world of infinite tranquility, where the experience and concept of Time itself is distorted ever so subtly.

Although there is not a single trace of conscious activity in the brains of its sleepers, it appears as though the Experience itself never ceases, creating atemporal bubbles of memories of transcendental calm the moment the subject awakes.

It may be very well possible that the hypnoencephalic chemicals used in the cryonic process alter the outer cortex of the brain in such a way that is not yet exactly understood, however, scientists believe that cryostatic hibernation is a perfectly safe means of interstellar travel.

Zzzzzzzzzzz…

Duration: 64 minutes 10 seconds.
Size: 88.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?

And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit… someone walks in.

Just as I’m about to ‘release the beast’, someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

In this MP3 it’s just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.

Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you’re having the trots.

Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds.
Size: 86.5 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

You’re in stasis inside a space pod floating adrift the cold, vast, empty equanimity that is outer-outer space…

The low, bassy rumble heard inside the space pod as its rocket engine propulsion system is running, combined with the sounds of the heating and cooling systems onboard, creates a complex and soothing aural atmosphere that conveys warmth, comfort, and utter, complete solitude - not a cradle of civilization exists here.

Very deep and spacey and soothing, and best heard through stereo headphones with good bass response.
What’s going on back on earth? Who knows

Vrummmmmmmmm……

Duration: 64 minutes 43 seconds.
Size: 88.8 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Washington

Vatican

Moscow

Bathysphere

Duration: 62 minutes 50 seconds.
Size: 86.3 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Deep and bassy is how you like it. With increased low frequencies and decreased higher, this MP3 creates a sexcellent warm atmosphere for aid in dozing off.

Duration: 63 minutes 27 seconds.
Size: 87.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

To the esteemed space traveler:

May you find the sleeping quarters of this Iteron Mark IV I.S.S. MF-4360BACONAUT Intergalactic Starcruiser to be fair and satisfactory.

Duration: 66 minutes 29 seconds.
Size: 91.3 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

When a gas furnace in a home is running, it produces a fantastical, warm, and comforting, low rumbling drone that could knock you right out into a nappy catnap. It’s just an awesome sound.

There are a few nuisances however — the thing is, if you wanna hear it right at the climax of your siesta, the reassuring hum is probably way too quiet to hear from your bedroom (assuming you have one, of course). And if you do have a furnace, it only runs in 5-10 minute intermittent spurts.

Fret no more, furnace lovers — this MP3 is a continuous 65 minutes of fat juicy furnace goodness. No overheating, no gargantuan gas bill!

Duration: 65 minutes 34 seconds.
Size: 90.0 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.