White Noise

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Duration: 65 minutes 15 seconds, Size: 89.6 MB.

Ah, mankind's greatest invention.

You love this sound. Love it like you love chocolate, a deep, personal love that makes your bones feel good inside.

The soothing white noise hum of the air conditioner — a sound I'm sure you're familiar with — reminds you of those gentle summer nights when you drifted off to sleep to this subtle drone of pure auditory bliss.

The full-length MP3 contains absolutely zero voices, rumbling, thuds, or ticks. No external distractions or abnormal frequencies are included - just the simple soothing hum of the A/C for one full hour.

There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who love air conditioners...

...and those who love air conditioners but won't admit it.

Duration: 64 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 88.5 MB.

I wish I owned this thing.

Alas, a sad and terrible realization:

One's entire life could indeed fit inside a Dassault Falcon 900.

Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds, Size: 88.9 MB.

Haiku:

Vacant meeting room
Air conditioner rumbles
Wallow in the breeze

  Soundmasking attributes of Empty Conference Room

  when combined with Sennheiser HD-380 PRO headphones at 85% iPad volume

  (The 380s are amazingly comfortable for side-sleepers)

		< 6.5ft	> 6.5ft	> 20ft	> 49ft
Talking
Snoring
Crying baby
Barking dog
Shouting/yelling
Truck revving
Car horn
Lawnmower
Motorcycle revving
Fire truck siren
Jackhammer

= inaudible       = audible

Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds, Size: 86.5 MB.

Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?

And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit... someone walks in.

Just as I'm about to ‘release the beast', someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

In this MP3 it's just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.

Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you're having the trots.

Lavatory 3 AM is a non-looped white noise soundscape composed of an hour-long on-location digital stereo quasi-binaural field recording. This recording technique produces a three-dimensional audio image when listening with earphones or headphones. Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Duration: 66 minutes 29 seconds, Size: 91.3 MB.

To the esteemed space traveler:

May you find the sleeping quarters of this Stellium Mark IV I.S.S. MF-4360 Supreme Intergalactic Starcruiser to be fair and satisfactory.

Duration: 63 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 87.1 MB.

Deep and bassy is how you like it. With increased low frequencies and decreased higher, this MP3 creates a sexcellent warm atmosphere for aid in dozing off.

  Soundmasking attributes of Sleepy Brown Noise

  when combined with Sennheiser HD-380 PRO headphones at 85% iPad volume

  (The 380s are amazingly comfortable for side-sleepers)

		< 6.5ft	> 6.5ft	> 20ft	> 49ft
Talking
Snoring
Crying baby
Barking dog
Shouting/yelling
Truck revving
Car horn
Lawnmower
Motorcycle revving
Fire truck siren
Jackhammer

= inaudible       = audible

Duration: 63 minutes 34 seconds, Size: 87.3 MB.

For those of us that like our air conditioners with a little flavor:

Hint of Rattle™.

Delicious. Shake well before serving.

Duration: 63 minutes 50 seconds, Size: 87.6 MB.

Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom...

Duration: 63 minutes 56 seconds, Size: 87.8 MB.

A recording from the lavatory of an A380 airbus. The flight attendants were very nice — they never apprehended me for dozing off on the porcelain wonder.