White Noise MP3s.com

Duration: 65 minutes 15 seconds, Size: 89.6 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Ah, mankind’s greatest invention.

You love this sound. Love it like you love bacon, a deep, personal love that makes your bones feel good inside.

The soothing hum of the air conditioner – a sound I’m sure you’re familiar with – reminds you of those gentle summer nights when you drifted off to sleep to this subtle drone of pure awesome.

There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who love air conditioners…

…and those who love air conditioners but won’t admit it.

Duration: 64 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 88.5 MB.
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A sad and terrible realization:

My entire life, such as it is, can indeed fit inside a Dassault Falcon 900.

Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds, Size: 88.9 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Haiku:

Vacant meeting room.
Air conditioner rumbles.
Wallow in the breeze.

Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds, Size: 86.5 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?

And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit… someone walks in.

Just as I’m about to ‘release the beast’, someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

In this MP3 it’s just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.

Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you’re having the trots.

Duration: 63 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 87.1 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Deep and bassy is how you like it. With increased low frequencies and decreased higher, this MP3 creates a sexcellent warm atmosphere for aid in dozing off.

Duration: 65 minutes 51 seconds, Size: 90.4 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

I am absolutely in love with Scotland.

Firstly, the accent here is so endearing. The soft accents are very sweet and congenial, while the thicker accents are thoroughly amusing. I kinda wish I had a Scottish accent. Although I can roll my R’s pretty well, I can’t seem to get the lilting of the Scottish melody down just yet.

Scotland is just darn beautiful. It has snow, it has beautiful glens and pristine rolling hills, it has zillions of miles of unspoiled picturesque wilderness.

And everywhere that I go there is the smell of soft grandmotherly perfume wafting in the air, not harsh overpowering perfume like the kind that women smokers wear to cover up the stench of nicotine, but rather, a flowery smell soldered with the scent of a fresh, clean baby.

Another thing is the people here are so decidedly friendly — strangers have invited me out on several occasions, from which one of them is how this recording came to be.

It was a long hike before we set up camp, which I found out later was around -10°c — and even though it was only four o’clock, night was washing over us. My gore-tex alpine bivysack and -20°C sleeping bag did keep me toasty when I was basking in its warmth but come morning my boots and water bottle were completely frozen, and packing up the bivysack/thermarest/sleeping bag and various other sundries was a serious challenge with hands and feet I wasn’t sure belonged to me anymore.

Nevertheless, throughout the morning I traipsed about aimlessly through the snow-listening. Not for anything in particular, just the whole place; not a thought, not a word.

Eventually I sussed out a spot in a large area of pine trees especially chosen for its particularly musical qualities, about 20 feet into the cluster. This particular patch of trees was relatively dense which barred the wind from sundering itself, but rather, allowed it to sing its way around and over the trees.

I found that this exuberant sound is special to this particular spot, because when I tried a few other locations that were easier to get to, all failed to match the essence that I captured here. I set up my recording equipment quickly and in hushed amazement pressed RECORD.

Caledonian Squalls is a delightfully rousing white noise MP3 with 65 minutes of deep, balming winds heartily rushing through the pines of the Scottish Cairngorms.

Wandering through fields of stridulate noise, wafting on languid breezes, these winds conjure a pleasantly piquant air doused with low-pitched frequencies that lend a pensive edge to this delicate aural lattice.

They as well provide an elusive foundation for the aerial sonic stream, gradually accumulating a subtle puissance until reaching a level of heightened intensity naturally crafted to stimulate the subconscious, only to nimbly glissade back into moderate aplomb.

Excellent for both sleep and study, this wintry field recording is a breathy atmosphere conveyed by relaxing rhythms of infinite scope, naturally executed with placid restraint. No birds, animals, or planes are included.

Duration: 65 minutes 37 seconds, Size: 90.1 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Something nobody has ever said in a movie:
“that font is large… TOO large.”

Duration: 65 minutes 47 seconds, Size: 90.3 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Ah… rainstorms without the thunder. The Navajo call these storms “female rain”.

Nothin’ but Rain features the sound of nothin’ but (and that’s a really big but) rain - pure, peaceful, refreshing rain.

Rain for rest and recovery, relaxation, concentrating while working, and washing away all stress and tensions.

Rain that makes you wanna wrap up all nice ‘n cozy in your favorite soft blankie to lull you off into dreamland.

Rain so good it makes you wanna slap yo’ momma.

And I don’t mean the banal looped dreck found on the generic spa sounds CD that farts in your ears every 20 seconds.

When I say nothin’ but rain, what I verily profess is a rich cleansing stereo binaural field recording of all the natural ebbs and flows, intensities, gradations and rhythms, and all the subtly variating nuances and acoustic intricacies of a luscious hour-long countryside rain spell swiftly volleying down upon a large grassy chestnut meadow on a lazy autumn September evening — with no thunder, no birds, no insects, no animals, no man-made noises, no music and no looped farts that would act to occupy or engage your attention.

This is a 360-degree binaural field recording. When you listen with headphones, you’ll be able to fully immerse yourself in the rainshower in complete 3-D surround sound. Link to binaural recording techniques.

Give it a listen and if it doesn’t help you sleep or concentrate any better than before, e-mail me and I’ll gladly refund or replace your purchase.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? fo’ drizzle

Duration: 63 minutes 50 seconds, Size: 87.6 MB.
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Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom…

Duration: 64 minutes 2 seconds, Size: 87.9 MB.
Buy the hour length MP3 file for only $9.99!

Ever wondered what pure environmental brownian noise sounds like? Here’s one thing for sure: this room is huge. The sound produced here is very broadband and spacious, which makes it great for sound masking.

This + headphones =