White Noise

Duration: 66 minutes 48 seconds, Size: 91.7 MB.
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Victoria Falls — the Seventh Wonder of the World; the largest waterfall in the world.

Victoria Falls is a natural source of “brown noise” (a lower-pitched and less irritable form of “true” white noise) that is ideal for sleep and masking unwanted background noises. It is a powerful, thundering, and expansive recording that relaxes the listener with a full-spectrum spacious sound, apt for masking both rumbling and high-pitched distractions.

While Victoria Falls is neither the highest nor the widest waterfall in the world, it is claimed to be the largest. This claim is based on the fact that it plunges 108 meters (360 feet) over a width of 1,708 meters (5,600 feet) into a basalt lined gorge, forming the largest sheet of falling water ever to be discovered by man (and thus, the largest concentrated source of environmental brown noise).

In March and April of 2009, record rainfalls in the watershed created an extra volume of water that had to be released over the falls around April 12th. This recording and photo were taken at that time, from the eastern cataract at the Zambian side.

Victoria Falls features no fade-in or fade-out at the beginning or the end, so there are no distractions in sound volume when played on repeat. No sounds of people, birds, animals or planes are included. No music has been added.

Victoria Falls is a natural white noise soundscape composed of a non-looped digital stereo quasi-binaural field recording. This recording technique produces a 3-dimensional audio portrait when listening with headphones. Encoded at a bitrate of 192 kbps for quality listening.

Companion field recording: Top of the Chasm

Duration: 65 minutes 15 seconds, Size: 89.6 MB.
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Ah, mankind’s greatest invention.

You love this sound. Love it like you love bacon, a deep, personal love that makes your bones feel good inside.

The soothing white noise hum of the air conditioner – a sound I’m sure you’re familiar with – reminds you of those gentle summer nights when you drifted off to sleep to this subtle drone of pure auditory bliss.

There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who love air conditioners…

…and those who love air conditioners but won’t admit it.

Duration: 64 minutes 41 seconds, Size: 88.8 MB.
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A field recording from my trip to the Rockies — descending swiftly from the ice fields of the Rocky Mountains, the Kicking Horse River is both a geological and acoustic wonder. It still follows the path it chose before massive glaciers filled the space between these mountains. When the great ice sheet finally disappeared, a broad U-shaped valley was left in its wake and at its bottom, the Kicking Horse River remained — a spectacular remnant of another age.

While exploring a Rocky Mountain river in 1858, surveyor-geologist James Hector suffered a near-fatal kick by his packhorse. Hector survived, and the river and a nearby mountain pass were named in honour of the incident.

The recording location for this MP3 was rather catalytic — my hubby and I were able to move the raft to a calmer area but while he was sitting there being fat I stranded myself up on a rock for an hour in the middle of its unruly raging waters with my Sonic Studios DSM-6S/M (in a WHB headband) and Edirol R-09.

White noise permeates this soundscape through the relaxing auditory medium of constant streaming water. The overflow from the rapids eddy around to the left and to the right as light spirited waves lap against the rock’s perimeter. You can hear the rushing flow of water from the main current shifting amongst the rocks, the harmonic splash of spray, and volumes of water gushing over and around the rocks and boulders all around me. The atmosphere is suffused by white milky mist thrown up into the air by splash and spray everywhere.

Kicking Horse Rapids is a natural soothing source of “pink noise” (a less harsh and less hissy form of “true” white noise) and includes no distracting sounds of birds, planes, music, animals or people. Digital stereo quasi-binaural field recording. Listen with headphones to produce a 3-dimensional auditory experience. Link to binaural recording techniques.

Duration: 64 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 88.5 MB.
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A sad and terrible realization:

My entire life, such as it is, can indeed fit inside a Dassault Falcon 900.

Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds, Size: 88.9 MB.
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Haiku:

Vacant meeting room
Air conditioner rumbles
Wallow in the breeze

Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds, Size: 86.5 MB.
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Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?

And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit… someone walks in.

Just as I’m about to ‘release the beast’, someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

In this MP3 it’s just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.

Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you’re having the trots.

Lavatory 3 AM is a non-looped white noise soundscape composed of an hour-long on-location digital stereo quasi-binaural field recording. This recording technique produces a three-dimensional audio image when listening with earphones or headphones. Bitrated encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Duration: 66 minutes 29 seconds, Size: 91.3 MB.
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To the esteemed space traveler:

May you find the sleeping quarters of this Stellium Mark IV I.S.S. MF-4360 Supreme Intergalactic Starcruiser to be fair and satisfactory.

Duration: 63 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 87.1 MB.
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Deep and bassy is how you like it. With increased low frequencies and decreased higher, this MP3 creates a sexcellent warm atmosphere for aid in dozing off.

Duration: 66 minutes 57 seconds, Size: 91.9 MB.
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A steep descent in the riverbed has this swiftly moving jungle river rushing, roaring, raging and rumbling through the Amazon rainforest with torrents of surging water, violent gushing eddies, turbulent white bubbles and tempest-like currents. It echoes across the jungle and off the nearby cliffs in thundering resonance, adding a spacious feel to the soundscape and a strong bass presence that conveys a solid physical milieu.

Special attention was given to the choice of the river’s recording location to portray the most spacious sound, yet still have the listener be able to hear and enjoy the close-up sounds of splashing water.

Compared to synthesized white noise, this soundscape has a distinguished natural variability which gives the recording extra life and substance, making it easier to listen to over long periods of time.

I’m sure this river was full of hungry piranhas and sneaky candirus, but recording it was a thoroughly vested thrill. Making this recording was extremely fun and risky.

Includes no sounds of birds or animals. Includes no fade-in or fade-out. Jungle River Rapids is a non-looped natural soundscape composed of an hour-long on-location digital stereo binaural-baffled field recording. This recording technique produces a three-dimensional audio image when listening with earphones or headphones. Bitrated encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Duration: 62 minutes 39 seconds, Size: 86.0 MB.
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I know what you are thinking.

I bet you are thinking, “Where are people’s air conditioners? Why is there not a site that lets me keep track of their air conditioners online so that I always know where the nearest one is????”

And the answer is because I don’t have any venture capital.

Duration: 65 minutes 53 seconds, Size: 90.5 MB.
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Top of the Chasm was recorded where the steep rocky cliffs of the Zambezi River Gorge reverberate with the sounds of rushing water. Recorded at the top of the chasm, overhanging the river far below, the sound of running water is blended and modified by the morning air and multiplied by echoing cliffs yielding a unique river gorge sound.

The deep gorge is a result of waterfall erosion that takes thousands of years to create. It is an ongoing process that we can only participate as reverent observers because the magnitude of the forces and time the process requires are beyond our intuitive comprehension. This unique peacefulness of the gorge sound is a result of a natural merging of the effects of vast volumes of air and water.

Behind a bend in the gorge and half a kilometer away, the waterfall still plummets, as the geological process is never-ending. That ancient presence is represented in the recording as a sub bass rumble at about 10 Hz (10 Hz is the same frequency as alpha brain waves), created as the massive amount of water tumbles down 108 meters (360 feet) and shakes the earth.

Top of the Chasm is a natural soundscape composed of a digital stereo binaural field recording. Recorded above the Zambezi River downstream from Victoria Falls in southern Zambia, Africa. Encoded at a bitrate of 192 kbps for quality listening.

Companion field recording: Victoria Falls

Duration: 63 minutes 50 seconds, Size: 87.6 MB.
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Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom…

Duration: 65 minutes 34 seconds, Size: 90.0 MB.
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I personally prefer the sound of an air conditioner, though back then when I was in university I had to babysit a toddler — about nine or ten months of age — for a friend.

The precious little bugger wouldn’t quit squawking and was upset that mum had gone out to work. I tried to calm him down and even offered some strawberry-flavored yogurt but he just threw it at my face. Ow!

I had a lot of homework to do and a major math exam to take the next day so I didn’t have much of a choice but to turn on the vacuum cleaner to drown out his incessant squabbling.

As luck would have it, after about half a minute I shot a quick glance over my shoulder to check up on him and before I knew it he was on the couch sound asleep… humbly drooling over his plush polar bear. Fart!

I’ve also heard success stories over the years from friends and moms lulling their babies to sleep by turning on the vacuum cleaner:

Thus I’ve recorded this as a somewhat sensible alternative to burning out your vacuum cleaner’s motor — the model is a progressive upright Kenmore.

Because vacuum cleaners are so boisterously high-pitched, personal preference and past empirical conditioning (some parents use them to get their children out of bed in the mornings) are large determining factors in their effectiveness as a source of white noise sleep aid.

Some people hate it, some people love it. Give it a try and if it doesn’t work for your little munchkin, hit me up with an e-mail if you’d like to try something else!

Duration: 64 minutes 2 seconds, Size: 87.9 MB.
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Ever wondered what pure environmental brownian noise sounds like? Here’s one thing for sure: this room is huge. The sound produced here is very broadband and spacious, which makes it great for sound masking.

This + headphones = complete auditory isolation. Contains no voices, people, or distracting pops or creaks.

Duration: 65 minutes 34 seconds, Size: 90.0 MB.
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When a gas furnace in a home is running, it produces a fantastical, warm, and comforting, low rumbling drone that could knock you right out into a nappy catnap. It’s just a thoroughly entrancing sound.

There are a few nuisances however — the thing is, if you wanna hear it right at the climax of your siesta, the reassuring hum is probably way too quiet to hear from your bedroom (assuming you have one, of course). And if you do have a furnace, it only runs in 5-10 minute intermittent spurts.

Fret no more, furnace lovers — this MP3 is a continuous 65 minutes of fat juicy furnace goodness. No overheating, no gargantuan gas bill!

Duration: 63 minutes 56 seconds, Size: 87.8 MB.
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A recording from the lavatory of an A380 airbus. The flight attendants were very nice — they never apprehended me for dozing off on the porcelain wonder.

Duration: 65 minutes 32 seconds, Size: 90.0 MB.
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My husband just said “don’t eat paper!” who the heck is he to judge?

Duration: 64 minutes 34 seconds, Size: 88.6 MB.
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Duration: 64 minutes 43 seconds, Size: 88.8 MB.
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You’re in stasis inside a space pod floating adrift the cold, vast, empty equanimity that is outer-outer space…

The low, bassy rumble heard inside the space pod as its rocket engine propulsion system is running, combined with the sounds of the heating and cooling systems onboard, creates a complex and soothing aural atmosphere that conveys warmth, comfort, and utter, complete solitude - not a cradle of civilization exists here.

Very deep and spacey and soothing, and best heard through stereo headphones with good bass response.
What’s going on back on Earth? Who knows

Vrummmmmmmmm……

Duration: 63 minutes 05 seconds, Size: 86.6 MB.
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Prospectively killing myself is awesome — I recorded this last June of 2007 right on the edge of the rocks (a truly catalytic experience) at the great Dettifoss. The Dettifoss Waterfall is located in north-eastern Iceland, situated on the Jökulsá á Fjöllum river which flows from the Vatnajökull glacier and collects water from a large area in north-east Iceland.

At 328 feet wide (100 meters) and a drop of 144 feet (44 meters) down to the Jökulsárgljúfur canyon, Dettifoss is reputed to be the largest, most powerful waterfall in Europe — having a flow estimated at between 200 and 500 cubic metres of water per second.

I really like that there are no barriers or railings (at least not yet) except common sense and your own sure-footing. I could’ve been round-house-kicked down into that storming abyss of water by some completely random Muay Thai master right out of the blue.

Duration: 63 minutes 30 seconds, Size: 87.2 MB.
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You see… I have this great joke.

An air conditioner walks into a bar and………

um…

it…

uh…

bah! I forgot…

Oh well, let box fans be box fans.