White Noise

Duration: 64 minutes 27 seconds, Size: 88.5 MB.

A sad and terrible realization:

One’s entire life could indeed fit inside a Dassault Falcon 900.

Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds, Size: 88.9 MB.

Haiku:

Vacant meeting room
Air conditioner rumbles
Wallow in the breeze

  Soundmasking attributes of Empty Conference Room

  when combined with Sennheiser HD-380 PRO headphones at 85% iPad volume

  (The 380s are amazingly comfortable for side-sleepers)

		< 6.5ft	> 6.5ft	> 20ft	> 49ft
Talking
Snoring
Crying baby
Barking dog
Shouting/yelling
Truck revving
Car horn
Lawnmower
Motorcycle revving
Fire truck siren
Jackhammer

= inaudible       = audible

Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds, Size: 86.5 MB.

Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?

And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit… someone walks in.

Just as I’m about to ‘release the beast’, someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

In this MP3 it’s just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.

Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you’re having the trots.

Lavatory 3 AM is a non-looped white noise soundscape composed of an hour-long on-location digital stereo quasi-binaural field recording. This recording technique produces a three-dimensional audio image when listening with earphones or headphones. Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.

Duration: 63 minutes 56 seconds, Size: 87.8 MB.

A recording from the lavatory of an A380 airbus. The flight attendants were very nice — they never apprehended me for dozing off on the porcelain wonder.

Duration: 65 minutes 32 seconds, Size: 90.0 MB.

My husband just said “don’t eat paper!” who the heck is he to judge?