MP3s that sound like ‘medium-pitched’
Rain on the River

It was one of those mornings where the mist and wisps of the fog had twisted and risen in the valleys, lingering like the last river spirits of the night, reluctant to admit that dawn has already broken.
‘Twas in this befoggled morning dawn during a rainstorm that I recorded this, right on the bank of the Deerfield River with my trusty pair of DPA 4060-BM omnidirectional condensor microphones mounted onto my GUY HRTF baffle. My Sound Devices 722 and Lunatec V2 mic preamp were both safe and sound in my watertight Pelican 1500 case but while they were sitting there being fat my 4060s had to take all the beating.
Constant plummeting rain falls throughout the river, forming a high exuberant counterpoint to the lower bass and sub-bass of delicate rolling thunder rumbling across the tops of clouds above the listener. The thunder has a low soothing growl rather than startling claps or crashes or booms, so any progress you make towards sleep or being one with the universe will not abruptly discombobulate. Subtle, sparsely scattered bird calls can be heard in the distance.
The sexy streaming flow of water from the river has a more engaging, relaxing, random variation of natural white noise when compared to electronically processed white noise or white noise software. The duality of both low and high frequencies facilitates listening as our ears tend to crave for one or the other after prolonged singular exposure to either for an extended period of time.
A tirelessly shifting array of liquid awesome — this is the only MP3 that takes you right to the balls of the storm without getting your ass fried by lightning. This is a 360-degree quasi-binaural field recording so when you listen with headphones, you’ll be able to fully immerse yourself in the rainstorm in complete 3-D surround sound. Here’s a link to my binaural recording techniques.
No music, no voices, no planes, no synthesizers, no bilk. No layering or looping effects were used in any way to enhance the storm.
The full 63:57 MP3 has no fade-in or fade-out at the beginning or end, so it can seamlessly be played looped without any distraction or sudden change of tempo.
Duration: 63 minutes 57 seconds.
Size: 87.8 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Air Conditioner Hum

Ah, mankind’s greatest invention.
You love this sound. Love it like you love bacon, a deep, personal love that makes your bones feel good inside.
The soothing hum of the air conditioner – a sound I’m sure you’re familiar with – reminds you of those gentle summer nights when you drifted off to sleep to this subtle drone of pure awesome.
Duration: 65 minutes 15 seconds.
Size: 89.6 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Empty Conference Room

I know what you are thinking.
I bet you are thinking, “Where are people’s air conditioners? Why is there not a site that lets me keep track of their air conditioners online so that I always know where the nearest one is????”
And the answer is because I don’t have any venture capital.
Duration: 64 minutes 47 seconds.
Size: 88.9 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Sleepy Beach Waves

I have never been more enamored by a country quite like Sri Lanka. As ubiquitous as poverty is, right alongside the high infant mortality rates, these people are albeit proud, educated, genuinely hospitable, and spiritual.
For example, my guide Carlu had an advanced collegiate degree, could speak several languages fluently, knew almost every single plant and animal by both their Latin and common names including hilarious scientific anecdotes, but most importantly he was remarkably at ease and eager to discuss the meaning of life for hours on end during the lazy evening hours.
Even though he was in his sixties, he was tireless. One morning he forgot to arrange for my brunch to be packed up for the field, so without comment we promptly stopped at a small communal village so that he could buy me a meal (equivalent to several days’ worth of wages). I irrevocably pried the truth out of him and he confessed that he’d rather labor for days than to have me skip a brunch because he was forgetful. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and squeezed his testicles.
Carlu is just one of the many reasons that Arthur C. Clarke (author of 2001: A Space Odyssey, R.I.P March 19, 2008) lived here, which introduces how I had come to visit Sri Lanka in the first place.
A good childhood friend of mine had just returned from Sri Lanka on a business trip, and she suggested that I travel to the island country to record some of the environment because the denizens are so spiritually uplifting. Though despite the dense population, she assured me that it was also a quiet place, relatively free of noise pollution in the rural areas. The biosphere reserves are very well respected and preserved which to my favor complemented generously my existing library of environmental ambience and wildlife recordings.
She also suggested that I write to Sir Clarke, “You needn’t an address for a badass motherfucker like Arthur C. Clarke, just use Colombo, Sri Lanka, and it’ll get to him.” Oy, could there really be such a place left in this world? I wrote the correspondence letter that same day. Three weeks later, I received a hand written letter in my mailbox from Mr. Clarke graciously referring me to several scholars and experts on nature and Carlu was one of them.
Carlu took me to the Kanneliya Forest, Hurulu Reserve, Horton Plains, and Kalutara Beach, and all four places produced environmental ambience recordings of sexcellent quality.
Sleepy Beach Waves takes place on the secluded Kalutara Beach, which is a long, narrow strip of land of situated 38 kilometers south of Mr. Clarke’s house and rests between the waters of the Laccadive Sea and a wider inlet of water to the east.
The weather and tide conditions were nothing short of perfect that evening — a crème de la crème of widely spaced waves sweeping singularly and sensuously across the smooth, moist, shimmering sand. The lush ebb and flow of waves — both distant and near — gently caress the shore as they break and recede, leaving a light hissing symphonic trail of sound as the surf ever so softly sizzles itself in.
There was no wind at all, which was pretty rare for an open beach — so I removed the microphone windscreens to allow every creamy little detail to be recorded. At the conclusion of this hour long field recording session I snapped up this photo.
Relaxing beach ambience at its best - without the seagulls, without the swimmers, without the sailors. No birds, no animals, no people, no music. No looping or layering effects were used. This is one full hour of pure, unadulterated, wholesome beach waves — both distant and near — lapping against the sun-kissed sandy shores of the Kalutara on a sleepy September sunset twilight.
This soundscape captures the most primal essence of stranded seaside serenity and solitude in 360-degree binaural surround sound. Ah… so peaceful here. Yet there’s fighting going on somewhere at this very minute. Put on a pair of stereo headphones and dare to cast yourself away.
Duration: 65 minutes 37 seconds.
Size: 90.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Cryostasis Chamber

I had the pleasure of commissioning this sexy exciting soundscape for a huge client over the summer of 2005, though I won’t say who.
The goal was to sculpt a complex background ambience reminiscent of a sci-fi-ish stasis or cryogenic chamber where the inert minds of its subjects naturally retreat into a private world of infinite tranquility, where the experience and concept of Time itself is distorted ever so subtly.
Although there is not a single trace of conscious activity in the brains of its sleepers, it appears as though the Experience itself never ceases, creating atemporal bubbles of memories of transcendental calm the moment the subject awakes.
It may be very well possible that the hypnoencephalic chemicals used in the cryonic process alter the outer cortex of the brain in such a way that is not yet exactly understood, however, scientists believe that cryostatic hibernation is a perfectly safe means of interstellar travel.
Zzzzzzzzzzz…
Duration: 64 minutes 10 seconds.
Size: 88.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Lavatory 3 AM

Ever notice how the soothing ambience of the A/C hum in public restrooms mitigates the pain of having gas, bloating and diarrhea?
And whenever I finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit… someone walks in.
Just as I’m about to ‘release the beast’, someone enters the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut! 
In this MP3 it’s just you and the constant, completely soothing hum of the A/C and its resonance off the polished walls of an empty, dimly lit washroom at 3 AM. No people, no plumbing noise, no tomfoolery.
Dump this MP3 onto your MP3 player and carry it along whenever you’re having the trots.
Duration: 62 minutes 59 seconds.
Size: 86.5 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Bathysphere

Washington
Vatican
Moscow
Bathysphere
Duration: 62 minutes 50 seconds.
Size: 86.3 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Sleepy Brown Noise

Deep and bassy is how you like it. With increased low frequencies and decreased higher, this MP3 creates a sexcellent warm atmosphere for aid in dozing off.
Duration: 63 minutes 27 seconds.
Size: 87.1 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Refrigerator Hum

Subtly supplemented with ultra-soothing, digitally mastered broadband brownian noise for an added effect of absoluZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Duration: 62 minutes 39 seconds.
Size: 86.0 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
a bigass waterfall

Prospectively killing myself is awesome — I recorded this last June of 2007 right on the edge of the rocks (a truly catalytic experience) at the great Dettifoss. The Dettifoss Waterfall is located in north-eastern Iceland, situated on the Jökulsá á Fjöllum river which flows from the Vatnajökull glacier and collects water from a large area in north-east Iceland.
At 328 feet wide (100 meters) and a drop of 144 feet (44 meters) down to the Jökulsárgljúfur canyon, Dettifoss is reputed to be the largest, most powerful waterfall in Europe — having a flow estimated at between 200 and 500 cubic metres of water per second.
I really like that there are no barriers or railings (at least not yet) except common sense and your own sure-footing. I could’ve been bitch-kicked down into that storming abyss of water by some completely random Spartan fatty out of the blue.
Pronouncing some of those names is like climbing Mount Everest.
Duration: 63 minutes 05 seconds.
Size: 86.6 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Mountain Valley Breezes

The complete aural equivalent of watching clouds.
Strong, chill breezes of the utmost delicious zephyrs stir through and caress the densely congregated treetops of towering pines, cedars, oaks, fir, and maple. Natural ebbs and flows of dynamic, circular sounds are created. The air is fresh, alive, and vibrant with a brisk zest of its own that you can smell right through your headphones.
Pristine omni-directional birdcalls echoing back and forth create an ever gentle reverie of peaceful, soothing, calming sound to aid you with those long trains of thought that just warrant for deep, meditative contemplation and painstaking mental effort.
Mountain Valley Breezes is a form of natural white noise, the sound of serenity. As the leaves rustle and dance and the branches billow, we are reminded of the leisurely days of summer warmth and relaxation, beneath blue skies of meandering fluffy white clouds.
Put on a pair of sound-isolating headphones or earphones and try listening to this while you’re reading or programming. If it sucks, e-mail me and I’ll gladly refund or replace your purchase.
Duration: 64 minutes 03 seconds.
Size: 87.9 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Dreamstorm


Duration: 65 minutes 31 seconds.
Size: 89.9 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Birth of a Supercell

A most fortuitous acoustic happenstance as it may be, this fabulous chance recording was chronicled right on the spur of pure tragedy — I honestly had not foreseen recording this ginormously huge sumbitch on the steps of my friend’s porch during the series of severe storms on the dreaded afternoon of August 19th, 2005.
Honestly. I mean, we were discussing politics and homemade chicken pot pie in the dining room while having homemade chicken pot pie. We certainly weren’t discussing torrential rainstorms the size of Angelina Jolie’s upper lip.
That’s why you carry your portable field recording gear with you wherever you go no matter what, homeslice.
Having been armed with a matched stereo pair of DPA 4060-BMs clipped onto my hoodie (touching each ear for quasi-binaural imaging), a PA-24NJ battery mic preamp, and a Sony PCM-M1 DAT, I captured the complete sonic birth, materialization, and early incursion of a supercell storm.
The Toronto Supercell storm struck at 12:30pm as part of the Southern Ontario Tornado Outbreak of 2005, which later spawned two F2 strength tornadoes, produced winds of well over 100km/h, golf ball sized hail, extensively flooded more than half of the Greater Toronto Area, and completely laid to waste Finch Avenue near Sentinel Road in North York with damages in excess of $10 million CAD. Swords will fucking cut you wide open.
Everyone was inside their homes being fat except for me. The winds were galvanizing — had I used my tripod or HRTF baffle to record this, my gear would’ve easily been swept away as supercell fodder in one succinct blast of wind - thus I had to sit and meditate on my butt for an hour.
I belched once, but I’ve edited that out. Thanks, homemade chicken pot pie.
Duration: 65 minutes 7 seconds.
Size: 89.4 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Rattling Air Conditioner

For those of us that like our air conditioners with a little flavor:
Hint of Rattle™.
Delicious. Shake well before serving.
Duration: 63 minutes 34 seconds.
Size: 87.3 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Cave by the Waterfall

Chilling in a cave with a waterfall that’s right outside as innocent little water droplets in your vicinity drip, dribble and splash, listening to this makes you feel immersed, protected… and thirsty.
Mmm… water. 
Duration: 62 minutes 13 seconds.
Size: 85.4 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Car AC High
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Market Price: Our Low Price: $9.99 |
Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom…
Duration: 63 minutes 50 seconds.
Size: 87.6 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
Box Fan

You see… I have this great joke.
An air conditioner walks into a bar and………
um…
it…
uh…
bah! I forgot…
Oh well, let box fans be box fans.
Duration: 64 minutes 33 seconds.
Size: 88.6 MB.
Bitrate encoded at 192 kbps for finest audio reproduction.
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